Misery

I hate this drawing. All the red areas should have been colored black or something very dark. When I look back, the colors I chose were all wrong.

This drawing brings back all the bad memories what anger and hurt that ensued because my mother thought she was doing what's best for us. But it's an important drawing to me. Maybe one of the most important drawings I've done, because it's taught me a valuable lesson. So, I'll talk about this one today.

I drew this about a week after my mother broke her ankle. Our family was still reeling from the consequences of her being immobile and lack of accommodations at home. In the midst of all this, my mother, for what purpose I still don't understand, withheld some information from some of us and exaggerated the same information to others. Which, of course, led to all kinds of anger and strife among other members of our family. She said she did it to make things better, but I think she did it to manipulate some of us to do that she wanted us to do (which, by the way, had NOTHING to do with her broken ankle!).

Sometimes I learn best by watching others and deciding what not to do. This is the prime case of learning what not to do. I'm vowing never to do such a thing to my children. Whether I can keep that promise or not, I don't know. Whether my children will agree with the statement or not, I can't say. But one thing I promise is never to do that intentionally and do my best not to do it to them. Awareness is the first step, right?

It's incredible how much power parents wield over their children, and mine certainly do over me, especially when they are sick. But that power must be wielded with love and care, not with any other intent. Of course, I'm sure my mother thought she was doing what she did because she loved us and thought she knew what's best for us. I guess these feelings don't change because we get older. 

So..., I'm reminded that I need to trust my children to solve most of their problems (unless it's something really serious). Give them room instead of jumping in even if I feel like I'm doing things out of love and affection. Maybe this is the toughest lesson parents learn and struggle with every day.

Have a nice day.