Quandary

I didn't know it then, but I started my therapeutic drawings on the evening of my mother's accident. She broke her ankle, and it was a devastating injury for her (she had suffered a stroke a long time ago, so this compounded care issues). I didn't know where to begin. Who will take care of her? Where will she go? Will she walk and be independent, again? So many issues....

There's a drawing titled Despair that comes between Before and Quandary, but for now, I don't want to look at that piece. Also, I didn't re-do it on a bigger canvas, so it only exists on small, journal-sized paper. 

Coming back to Quandary, this is a drawing that helped me figure out what we must do with the issue of my mother's care.

I don't even remember why I made these things in the heart shapes. I remember trying very hard to fit as many squares inside each heart shape without making it overly crowded. It took me almost two hours to draw the squares and another two or so to color them. 

I didn't care that the squares weren't perfect. 

I didn't care that my coloring wasn't smooth. 

All I cared was that the simple task of drawing squares and coloring them in kept me sane and even-keel.

I don't know if this will be a solution for you, but try it, especially if you have a big problem you need to mull over.

When I looked back at my drawings and journals, I realized that I drew squares or rectangles (or anything with corners) when I was wrestling with BIG problems that seemed to have no solutions. Or at least no good solutions. It was a surprise for me to discover this about myself.

Enjoy!